The majority of American males participating in the heterosexual hook-up and dating world fall into two distinct categories: the Dog Male and the non-dog male. While some Dog Males are eventually tamed into non-dog males, many on occasion simply give the appearance they are no longer Dogs. These are males who are well known for consistently going out-of-bounds with their spend presentations, using at the bare minimum their power of charm to persuade targeted females into having sex.

Even worse, many of these males have been deceiving traditionally thinking and acting females into monogamy promises, while being far from monogamous themselves. Openly demanding, and expecting, honestly monogamous behavior from their multiple female partners – yes, multiple – they go about their lives in an undercover dishonestly ­monogamous way.

Why the dog label? Is there any other animal, pet or otherwise, that constantly tries to eat and hump everything within its reach? Male dogs (unneutered of course) will partake of those activities regardless of how it appears to the people around them, and regardless of how long it has been since the last time. They certainly won’t bother to report what they did to anyone else. The male dog may understand and ­respect boundaries, but he will still jump the fence to chase after that female dog.

Like the male dog, the Dog Male is forever capable of deceiving any targeted female. Even though he might not end up having sex, he will often partake in verbal and even physical flirting, saying and doing things he would never get away with if his main partner were present. In contrast, the non-dog male sticks with a brutal honesty approach before, during and after sex.

In spite of DIS I (i.e., Dictator Impotency Syndrome as defined in Chapter 6 of Last Call), there are still plenty of Dog Males out there, regularly running multiple accounts without being honest with any of them. Whether Yesterday’s or Today’s version, they survive sexually by very frequently employing biased dishonesty practices. In other words, they live by the art of deception. While enforcing hidden agendas, they tell the female anything they feel she wants or needs to hear, in order to end up having sex, both first time and repeat – Theorem 5.4, “Fine Lines” in action (see Theorem 5.4). Table 6.2 provides a summary of the two male player positions:

Whether or not the male is a Dog or non-dog, they all easily fall under the male player label, using their charm, money and power to obtain sex with multiple females throughout the year. However, by definition, only the Dog Male invokes the phrase provided in Table 6.3 – just replace the X with the name of a country or city, or even the town next door, and one is set to justify cheating in any capacity.

“What happens in X, stays in X” is a special favorite of the Dog Male when overnight stays are involved, a part of such events as business trips, boys’ weekends ­including attending ball games or playing golf, and bachelor parties. Conversely, the non-dog male would never have any use for the phrase, given his inherent trait of brutal honesty.

Another distinctive characteristic of the Dog Male player is that he is always in pursuit mode, no matter who he has in his life sexually and what his living arrangements are. His pursuit mode is even on at times when with his current partner who is standing in the same room. Although yet to be scientifically proven, I am convinced that one dead giveaway on who the Dogs are, is any prolonged touching, that is caressing, while in conversation with the female. Something he would never do while in conversation with a fellow male, and most certainly will do with the next female he finds attractive. That is in comparison to the non-dog male player, who is often very comfortable with focusing all of his efforts (and touching) on just one female for a period of time.

Finally, I have two quick notes I would like to direct to the Dog Males out there. First, deceiving a new female and cheating on a current female partner are easy things to do. Second, just because one is an animal does not mean one has the right to lie. As one female friend said, “Just tell her the truth and let her sip on that for a while.” Last Call proclaims that, as of this moment, the Dog Male player no longer deserves a girlfriend let alone a wife.