Valentine’s Day 2013 Special #2 (check out the bolded paragraph)

If one really, really thinks about it, there is a lot of gamesmanship going on in the heterosexual hook-up and dating world. What about the excuse of getting someone’s contact call info for business reasons, under the pretense they can help that person get a job, new customers/clients or sell their car? Or stating that one did not give one’s contact call info out but instead told the interested opposite-sex person where one works or regularly hangs out.

By the way, consider this part of the contact call info definition from now on: providing a sexually interested third party a method to have post-first meeting interaction, whether it is electronically or in person, counts as exchanging contact call info. This also definitely includes contacting them with one’s unblocked smart phone or e-mail address soon after first meeting for that “business” reason or otherwise—instantaneously giving your contact call info anyway.

Then there are those situations when a partner hooks up with someone who has to have it remain a secret because he or she is supposedly already involved monogamously. So what does one do about telling their current honestly non-monogamous partner about this hook-up? Co-worker sexual partnerships, for instance, often have to be kept secret due to human zoo rules, especially when one partner is the boss of the other.

Even better, when one is juggling two partners in the same workplace the temptation to let neither know about the other can run deep. Whether tied directly to work or not, one of the biggest sins, I mean games, no I really mean sins (as far as I’m concerned, at this point at least), is when someone allows a current partner to meet and greet another current or recent partner without knowing it. I also find it troublesome if one partner or even both partners are independently partying to the point of exhaustion, and then giving way less than quality time to each other the next day.

The gamesmanship behind disclosing future plans, especially if they involve opposite-sex people or risky activities, could make for an interesting study. Last Call believes it is important to give one’s partner enough notice to make his or her own plans, which should have the potential for just as much opposite-sex company time fun if he or she wants it. Similarly, what is fair when one is invited to an event on a day one’s partner is not available, or if the invite does not include guests, or at least opposite-sex guests? The most questionable move is when one is asked by a partner to do something on a specific night, and then saying no (or nothing at all) because one already has plans that do not include that partner.

Speaking of which, the celebration of Valentine’s Day in recent years has taken on a whole new meaning if one is into undercover detective work, whether for hire or just oneself. February 13th is now recognized as the second biggest night out for couples. When a current “main” partner is unavailable, missing in action, or just going out with the boys/girls, snooping has never turned up so much. Yes, the 13th is the day for sharing company time with that “other” partner, and then some.

When meeting a person one likes and ends up having sex with, it is always interesting to observe how that person communicates about their own third-party opposite-sex people matters both before and after the fact. If you are discussing the names and events of the opposite-sex people with whom you are currently interacting and you notice that the new partner does none of the above, please quickly reflect for a moment as to why. It is almost impossible that the person is not in touch with people from their past, and certainly that person is still meeting new people on a regular basis.

The partnership tool set (see Last Call Tools and Forms) will now painlessly help alleviate this imbalance or, if called for, provide the justification for moving on. While some tools from this set might initially be construed as controlling, the people actually doing the controlling are those who are not fully disclosing what they are up to during their non-partner-present time with other opposite-sex people. Think about it.

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